I loved this so much!! The point about our romanticisation of girlhood taking the actual teeth out of the experience and how it really felt to be a girl!! It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately and you articulated it so well
"Girlhood is such an intricate time that womanhood is sold to girls as the solution."---WOW, i love this line. We spend all of girlhood trying to be women, forgetting the beauty in just being young, whatever that looks like, in all its awkwardness and in between places. It's sad women aren't allowed to truly exist in their youth, always being pushed toward adult roles. But I think its beautiful we are finding ways to reconnect with girlhood and femininity as women! Beautifully put and very eye opening to me!
Kiera, thank you so much for reading and thank you for your kind words! I wish I had let go of always wishing to be older as a child. There was so much beauty in being a young girl and in school, my friends and my home being the most important parts of my life. I think in the most recent years, I have realized how much it is necessary to enjoy the present and focus on the present moment as opposed to wishing our lives away. I do agree though that it is beautiful that we get to reconnect with our younger selves as women!
I have so much complex thoughts on girlhood and womanhood, until I read your article. You really nailed it, helped me understand it clearly! I love this piece so much, I had to subscribe. It is honestly confusing, and sometimes frustrating to navigate girlhood or womanhood, because of the expectations we have been bombarded daily through consumerism (and other factors such as partriarchy and for some, cultural expectations). Previous generations did behave the same way as we are now, though their time may have different standards that still mirrors our day and age. We get mad at these young girls for copying adults, when we did the same in our younger years, since that's what we've been told to do, and the adults were our supposed role models. The expectations to grow up quickly while holding on to our innocence are sometimes blurred between the lines, as expressing our feminimity can receive whether a good or bad reaction.
I love this article so much especially the idea of the perpetual dance of 13 going on 30 and 30 going on 13. As women we are taught that we aren't enough as we are. Especially if we aren't in a relationship, despite all that feminism has done for us there is still a voice inside us (that is loud for some or quiet for others) that reminds us we are incomplete without a man. So we spend time and money doing whatever it takes to attract male approval, whether that be acting older or younger than we are. As it is men and only men that want young girls being independent, sexually active and acting grown. It is also men that want grown women acting naïve, obedient and care free. It is important that we stop believing the grass is greener and start acting our ages enjoying the moment we are in and stopping the speeding or prevention of aging is one of the most fulfilling acts of feminism you can take part in in our 21st century society.
I'm more recently being hounded with questions about when I'm going to get married, have kids, etc. 😵💫 The fact that a single life signifies an empty one or an incomplete one is insane! Thank you so much for your points, Teniola, I totally agree!
What a great article! I love how you used The Lying Life of Adults to get your point across. That was the first Ferrante book I read and she’s one of my favorite authors.
I’m sure everyone has recommended the Neapolitan Novels (as they should!) but if you want to dive in with a shorter work of hers, I recommend Days of Abandonment. It messed me up so much lol.
Anything with girlhood as the topic always peeks my interest and this was an immediate click! I share a lot of similar thoughts to what you said especially with how women criticize little girls for participating in the trends they created. Nohémie, this was such an excellent read. This is making wanna go buy a copy of The Lying Life of Adults!
this is so beautifully written! i’m a huge ferrante fan and i loved how eloquently you synthesized her ideas in with everything happening on tiktok right now! i’ll definitely be keeping up with your writing <3
Thank you so much, Sarah! I'm definitely going to read more of Ferrante's books, her writing is impeccable (let me know if you have any recommendations)! I'm very happy that you enjoyed this read and I really appreciate the follow!
Of course! I'm so excited for your future posts <33 I would definitely reccomend her neapolitan novels, starting with my brilliant friend. they're by far some of the best pieces of writing i've ever encountered and I would love to hear your thoughts!
Nohémie! This was such an interesting read. As always, your writing style is exquisite. I feel like everything was said, and you know I rarely find nothing else to add. The study of the lies we tell others and ourselves is fascinating. I like Madison Huizinga’s comment, about girls’ relationship to womanhood and how their behaviors are in fact very similar to previous generations’. But it is the focus on consumerism (of course) that I am more sensitive to. The concept of consumerist feminine pastiche is perfect to describe the vicious circle women seem to be caught in, where like you said, we reinvent the wheel and no matter what side of the argument we end up on, are always on either two sides of the same coin. The way we pursue fulfilment and wholeness through consumerism is gut-wrenching when we realize that we are only doing that because we evolve in and reinforce loveless sterile communities. I would love to read On Feminism in the Age of Consumption, it is added to my list. Thank you again for your thoughts, what a tour de force it is to link all these concepts in a poetic manner like this. I will not rest until you have the Pulitzer you deserve.
Thank you so much Emma, I always love your comments and appreciate your thoughts! I knew you'd like the piece On Feminism in the Age of Consumption, I think it will be at the core of many of our conversations. Also PULITZER? I will dedicate my speech to you if I ever get anything 😂!
I loved this so much!! The point about our romanticisation of girlhood taking the actual teeth out of the experience and how it really felt to be a girl!! It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately and you articulated it so well
I'm so happy you enjoyed this piece <3 Thank you so much for your kind words, Grace!
"Girlhood is such an intricate time that womanhood is sold to girls as the solution."---WOW, i love this line. We spend all of girlhood trying to be women, forgetting the beauty in just being young, whatever that looks like, in all its awkwardness and in between places. It's sad women aren't allowed to truly exist in their youth, always being pushed toward adult roles. But I think its beautiful we are finding ways to reconnect with girlhood and femininity as women! Beautifully put and very eye opening to me!
Kiera, thank you so much for reading and thank you for your kind words! I wish I had let go of always wishing to be older as a child. There was so much beauty in being a young girl and in school, my friends and my home being the most important parts of my life. I think in the most recent years, I have realized how much it is necessary to enjoy the present and focus on the present moment as opposed to wishing our lives away. I do agree though that it is beautiful that we get to reconnect with our younger selves as women!
I have so much complex thoughts on girlhood and womanhood, until I read your article. You really nailed it, helped me understand it clearly! I love this piece so much, I had to subscribe. It is honestly confusing, and sometimes frustrating to navigate girlhood or womanhood, because of the expectations we have been bombarded daily through consumerism (and other factors such as partriarchy and for some, cultural expectations). Previous generations did behave the same way as we are now, though their time may have different standards that still mirrors our day and age. We get mad at these young girls for copying adults, when we did the same in our younger years, since that's what we've been told to do, and the adults were our supposed role models. The expectations to grow up quickly while holding on to our innocence are sometimes blurred between the lines, as expressing our feminimity can receive whether a good or bad reaction.
I love your writing so much!!!! Ugh so poignant ♥️
(I just saw ur comment omg) Thank you so much, Caitlin! Your support means everything ❤️
🩷🩷🩷🩷
I love this article so much especially the idea of the perpetual dance of 13 going on 30 and 30 going on 13. As women we are taught that we aren't enough as we are. Especially if we aren't in a relationship, despite all that feminism has done for us there is still a voice inside us (that is loud for some or quiet for others) that reminds us we are incomplete without a man. So we spend time and money doing whatever it takes to attract male approval, whether that be acting older or younger than we are. As it is men and only men that want young girls being independent, sexually active and acting grown. It is also men that want grown women acting naïve, obedient and care free. It is important that we stop believing the grass is greener and start acting our ages enjoying the moment we are in and stopping the speeding or prevention of aging is one of the most fulfilling acts of feminism you can take part in in our 21st century society.
I'm more recently being hounded with questions about when I'm going to get married, have kids, etc. 😵💫 The fact that a single life signifies an empty one or an incomplete one is insane! Thank you so much for your points, Teniola, I totally agree!
What a great article! I love how you used The Lying Life of Adults to get your point across. That was the first Ferrante book I read and she’s one of my favorite authors.
Thank you so much! After not reading books for longer than I like to admit, Ferrante’s writing was refreshing! I’m so excited to read more from her!
I’m sure everyone has recommended the Neapolitan Novels (as they should!) but if you want to dive in with a shorter work of hers, I recommend Days of Abandonment. It messed me up so much lol.
I’m so excited!!!! Thank you for the recommendations!
Anything with girlhood as the topic always peeks my interest and this was an immediate click! I share a lot of similar thoughts to what you said especially with how women criticize little girls for participating in the trends they created. Nohémie, this was such an excellent read. This is making wanna go buy a copy of The Lying Life of Adults!
Thank you so much for your kind words, Toni! You HAVEEEEEE to read it, her writing is incredible!
this is so beautifully written! i’m a huge ferrante fan and i loved how eloquently you synthesized her ideas in with everything happening on tiktok right now! i’ll definitely be keeping up with your writing <3
Thank you so much, Sarah! I'm definitely going to read more of Ferrante's books, her writing is impeccable (let me know if you have any recommendations)! I'm very happy that you enjoyed this read and I really appreciate the follow!
Of course! I'm so excited for your future posts <33 I would definitely reccomend her neapolitan novels, starting with my brilliant friend. they're by far some of the best pieces of writing i've ever encountered and I would love to hear your thoughts!
Nohémie! This was such an interesting read. As always, your writing style is exquisite. I feel like everything was said, and you know I rarely find nothing else to add. The study of the lies we tell others and ourselves is fascinating. I like Madison Huizinga’s comment, about girls’ relationship to womanhood and how their behaviors are in fact very similar to previous generations’. But it is the focus on consumerism (of course) that I am more sensitive to. The concept of consumerist feminine pastiche is perfect to describe the vicious circle women seem to be caught in, where like you said, we reinvent the wheel and no matter what side of the argument we end up on, are always on either two sides of the same coin. The way we pursue fulfilment and wholeness through consumerism is gut-wrenching when we realize that we are only doing that because we evolve in and reinforce loveless sterile communities. I would love to read On Feminism in the Age of Consumption, it is added to my list. Thank you again for your thoughts, what a tour de force it is to link all these concepts in a poetic manner like this. I will not rest until you have the Pulitzer you deserve.
Thank you so much Emma, I always love your comments and appreciate your thoughts! I knew you'd like the piece On Feminism in the Age of Consumption, I think it will be at the core of many of our conversations. Also PULITZER? I will dedicate my speech to you if I ever get anything 😂!